In virtue of a second chance (in a different time)
by Faraheim
Summary: Sakura makes an unexpected journey to the past, and until she can find a way back (if she ever wants to) she has to live again
1. Chapter 1

Summary: She was in the past

Secure your belts kids, this is going to be a long long ride. kakasaku endgame, but very slow burn.

After the war and its destructive path through Konoha it's time to pick up the buildings from the streets and rebuild. many of the shinobi now are helping with the cleaning and it's a mess all over.

Sakura not exempt from those orders gets up early and leaves the apartment she shares with three more ninjas. it's a difficult time in the hidden villages mostly for the quantity of hurt people from the war and usable things left, there's not much place to be and a lot of place to construct at the moment but everyone is doing their best to get back in shape.

Her forehead is filled with sweat which she cleans for what feels like the ninth time and huffs she has been cleaning debris all morning, her attention drifts to a spark in the darkness under the wreckage of the house she is currently cleaning. Sakura lifts some rocks and a door that fell over the thing. in the process she gains a few more layers of dust and grime it mixes with her sweat and it's gross, she can't really see much so she reaches into the crawl space with her hand she tries to pat and find the thing "aha!" she celebrates excitedly. The thin and papery object, she realizes is a scroll upon a second look. she holds it close to her face studying it better. It´s a little dirty and old looking from the dust but it certainly is really fancy, she doubts that the metal holding the paper is real gold but it's shiny enough to look like it. Sakura decides to leave it at the library so someone can further inspect it while she continues with her hard work.

Sakura wasn't going to look at it she is a professional! never would she open a scroll just because she was a bit intrigued of course not, she was just going to take it to the library and make it someone else's problem. but out of the blue a loud scream from Naruto a few yards over startles her. He screams at Konohamaru about something or other in the middle of the street and of course Naruto makes her drop the scroll.

Of course.

She bends, irritated by Naruto _again_. The scroll rolls away from her, opening on the ground and revealing some kind of seals inside. Sakura's eyebrows rise at the symbols because she has never before witnessed something like those symbols. her hand is over the scroll in the process of retrieving it as a strong wind blows harshly, her pink hair flies off of her face as the wind cools her skin and she squints to avoid any dust. in her distraction she ends up touching the seal in the center with the tip of her fingers.

The scroll comes to life suddenly, surprised and maybe worried she gasps when the scroll explodes in a blinding white all around her. the symbols turn red all at once and crawl on her hand and arm rapidly like ants, wrapping her entire body. It feels as if she is consumed as if her body caught on fire and her ashes dissolved in the strong light, it wasn't painful but it's startling and soon it ends just as fast. Sakura's eyes drop and she tries several times to open them but she is very tired, feels heavy and warm.

She falls asleep in a confused haze.

Just as she feels herself whole again, pain rocks on the side of her head. it knocks her off with force and what balance she had is lost (not that she knew she was standing) like gravity was switched off. Sakura confused tries to grab onto something and in a flailing dance of limbs not yet connected to her brain, falls to the ground. her body comes back to her senses in parts after that.

Her body is wrong on her somehow, she tries like a newborn fawn to grab the side of her hurting head, somehow she misses and slowly moves to stand. a kid's hand comes in view as she tries to prop herself up. Sakura, cocks her head perplexed she looks at the hand in surprise flexes her hand and the tiny hand moves… it´s her hand!? "what's that?!" the now little shinobi screams, she shakes her arm around like it will make it change back properly that way. It doesn't and she loses her balance face planting on the dirt.

Someone snickers at her misfortune behind her before she can hit that someone, a green-ish blur lifts her up and off the floor into a standing position. the green blur, obviously, Lee she thinks. when she finishes dusting herself off ready to offer her thanks to Lee looks at him and spats "who the hell are you?!" When Lee's face failed to be- well, his face!

Just before he made his characteristic pose she recognized who it was.

"Beautiful Konoha damsel my name is Maito Gai" and his teeth sparkled when he finished his pose, thumb in the air and all.

Her head started to swim it wasn't possible. But the evidence was clear and damming. Then she rationalized she must be dreaming obviously this was a dream. Something must have fallen on her head and now she was unconscious on the floor dreaming about tiny Gai sensei.

Must be Naruto's fault, it's always Naruto.

Sakura laughed relieved placing her hand over her chest "oh god for a moment I thought this was real wow that-" she looks at the other kid besides Gai and stops cold was that? Gai ignored her ramblings and motioned to the messy grey haired male to his left "this is my rival Kakashi he is the most difficult to beat but I have managed to win in my-" she ignores Gai and glances at Kakashi, he has both of his eyes uncovered and he's missing the sharingan but still wears his blue mask over his face and as Gai, different clothing than their grown up selves "he was the one that threw the rock but it was unintentional" Gai ends making a happy face Kakashi shows a bored face pained to be in such situation.

Sakura does the most rational thing to do in one's dream and what she excels at "stupid Kakashi at least apologize!" and her body moves faster than intended but her body is less than normal so her strength makes her fly and before her punch makes contact with him, she sees his eyes widen and his arms rise instantly. her hit on KAkashi's face is hard enough to blow him away the distance of six houses, Sakura ignores Gai's heart eyes and turns her legs moving automatically in the other direction to avoid stupid old people like Kakashi.

Pain erupted in her brain once she was far enough. Sakura grabbed the side of her head that was hit with the unidentified flying object from before, it was matted with blood.

Memories started to come to her in a rapid succession, she saw people around her and felt herself tiny again, she saw grandmother appeared but it was her mother now and she was young and the grandfather she knew wasn't there anymore but some other man her now father she guessed. Childhood memories started to stab into her brain one after the other invading her.

The pain was so great she could barely stand without grabbing onto a wall her temple was throbbing and her respiration was ragged. She hid in one of the alleys and sat hugging her knees resting her aching head on her knees her pink hair fell like a curtain while the cold, dirty wall held her she closed her eyes in pain.

When the pain and the memories stopped coming she knew this wasn't a dream and she was still Sakura Haruno.

A different person but like a page being overwritten with different ink. The memories from her real past seemed to take a step back in her mind.

Her new life, was similar to the Sakura she was barely a few minutes ago, now she wasn't obsessed with Sasuke, she was with being a better shinobi like her grampa wanted. Her friend wasn't Ino but Anko (so weird) but so alike, in a million small ways.

She was cold and felt vulnerable.

How did something like this happened? Something so big! without her consent, her whole life gone in minutes replaced with another. she was at war with herself, the past Sakura and the new Sakura felt very deep, ingrained in an equal space both memories.

In spite of being so filled with memories she felt empty, did that mean that her friends and her family no longer belonged to her? Naruto and the others forever beyond her reach? But how did it happen?

Her green eyes fill with tears Sakura stays for a long time just sitting and grasping what her life was left at, she loved other people and had other friends, but if she focused enough she still recalled her mother's smile and her father's wrinkles when he joked, still remembered Naruto on a ramen binge and Ino giving her courage, Tsunade shishou, herself as an adult. The memories were _there_ but difficult to recall now like a dream, or a memory so old and so buried it was difficult to remember but there when she thought about it really hard.

Once her pity party was done Sakura decided to look for the scroll as it was the last thing she saw the only thing that activated some kind of jutsu, if she found it then she could go back. She dusted herself a little and began walking back.

Once she found her way that led her to the sector of houses she was cleaning just a few hours prior, her steps slowed down and stood a few houses over to the place she found the scroll before she dropped it. It looked normal, before the wreckage of the village; everything was whole if a little changed. Like when something in your room is different but you can't put a finger on what. The sight that welcomed her was an empty plot of dirt and that's when it hit her fully.

She was in the past.

Her hands closed on her shirt tightly, and her blood chilled. She was stuck here, in the past until the building was built again.


	2. Chapter 2

Entering the academy once more was surreal, this time her classmates were people she knew of passing older shinobi she walked past in the village. Now they were kids and her memories showed them to her in a new light. Every sensei from the rookie 9 groups, a few from the exams and some she didn't know. after a few days she got used to the feeling of knowing someone in their childhood.

Sakura walked to her seat waking Genma to her right. a few days in the academy and she was fitting as if it were normal

"sleeping in late Shiranui when are you going to learn?" she raised her voice and he moved his head to smirk at her and his toothpick fell out of his mouth "yuck is that a new move?" she laughed as he scoffed In response. She got her pencil and a few sheets of paper when Anko entered running with dango dangling from her mouth, everyone ignored her usual antics just in case she retaliated, all of the students were seated in place when the sensei started taking assistance.

Sakura got used to her five year old body in no time thanks to the new memories, her life wasn't that different from her life just a few days ago. The thing that drove the Sakura of now was very different from the one that had driven her to become a shinobi, it felt in a way like a blaze compared to her mild self. Shame bit softly at her, it annoyed her how stupid she was in the past, but she could only think that having lived through so much.

After her last name was called, Sakura turned to look at him, trying and failing to be inconspicuous knowing sensei would call in a moment Kakashi's last name.

It still felt weird being the same age as him (well older, she got to know him before he became that big name shinobi she feared a bit when she was a gennin. He returned her look after his name was called

"morning!" Sakura waved a bit shaking the surprise.

A voice near Kakashi answered instead "Sakura-san good morning-"

she panics at the sight of the Lee look alike and turns back before Gai starts reciting poetry, Kakashi wouldn't even respond so why wait. All her efforts to include him in her life had failed so far, her sensei was the only one she had a deep bond with (in as much you can call it deep) and having him here with her was like a soothing balm but not in this time it seems, he was really hard headed and wasn't giving an inch for her to latch on. She tried to include him but after a week it was a lost cause and Sakura -at least now- knew when to give something up.

After punching him so hard she thought he was gonna chase her to the end of the world and make her pay but he barely acknowledged her, Kakashi was just as cold as always.

Anko side eyed her because she thought Sakura was ´in love with the Hatake kid´ Anko is very similar to Naruto in the brashness of her character and the lack of personal space. one of the things that make her smile fondly is the loudness of Anko's laugh.

Obito the kid that sits on the other side of Kakashi is also like Naruto, carefree and a troublemaker in spite of being a Uchiha. as crazy as it might sound many of the older shinobi from her time are pretty similar to Sakura's old class.

Her days go by.

Everyday goes more of the same, she tries to befriend her classmates fails and continues her friendship with Anko and Genma sometimes Shizune too, Kakashi seems of the school of thought ´don't talk to anyone´ and sticks to that, sometimes Obito gets mad at him, is very sasuke/naruto of them.

With the knowledge from before she has a lot of experience but a low chakra storage, she is number four, then in a few months second in receiving the hushed title of prodigy alongside Kakashi, they focus on Kakashi because while she seems to be as smart as him, her lack of chakra to compliment her strategies makes her fail most of the time. In this time Konoha is passing through the time Sakura learned the start of the war was entering into the minds of the people, unrest drove them to expect much more than in her peaceful academy days. So far she was learning more things on difficult levels they never covered as gennin before.

One day while she runs errands for her mom Sakura finds Kakashi practising katas in a clearing close to the butcher's shop. She slows to a stop near him but stays silent watching his moves.

Kakashi stops and looks at her in disinterest "why are you here?" he languidly inquires.

"Figured you wanted something, if you didn't want me close I wouldn't have catched you at all" she shrugs when Kakashi moves closer to her

He crosses his arms "Anko says you are in love with me"

"She says that you got your white hair when you saw the last hokage's balls but I mean, she is a reliable source" she smiles wickedly, her relationship with Kakashi the last few months improved, not the way she wanted but it's something. Now they trade barbed words and insults if they feel it.

He moves to attack her, and what would be too much speed for any of their classmates; she manages to dodge and attack back. "If you want a person to practice you can ask, you know? Gai would do it all day-"

"They are useless" he interrupts her and kicks her side, she stays put and blocks him with her arm. Grabs his leg and throws him away. He still lands perfectly

"One day you will realize that what you are saying isn't true, someone isn't worthy because he is stronger or faster, but because he wants to keep fighting because they have the determination to stand with you kaka-baka! Sakura laughs mentally at his shocked face. Keeps her cool and adds before leaving him to his katas "I can't today, but in the mornings I'm free!" and runs away laughing. She looks back at him and can only see a blue dash, move back and forth. Her words don't make a difference in him, but ground her in the end. She thinks of Naruto and skips towards the shop it's been awhile since she thought of him without feeling sad.

Sakura often practices with Genma and Anko at the forest near the Nara compound

Anko has a grunge after the kick Sakura landed on her face so she retaliates with her favorite joke "so Sakura, when are you marrying into the Hatake clan?" in the background Genma sighs preparing himself to keep the girls apart

"I don't know Anko are you sure you're not the one salivating after him? Kakashi this, Kakashi that is all I been hearing from you lately" Sakura blocks a kunai Anko send her way and adds "he has a clan?" a movement from Genma distracts her and she stealthily watches the expression on Genma's face

Genma sights again, he's been doing it a lot lately, one day his face will get stuck and Anko will laugh for days. "He, well he did have. Up until his dad made a mistake and then died I don't think I should tell you but it's a big deal and you shouldn't ask him about it unless you want to die" he ended the speech by quickly walking away.

"What's with him?" she asks, not having time to process that apparently her sensei had a compound

Anko ignores her "Kakashi is not the type of person to be nice, he doesn't go out of his way to be mean, but he is cold. I get it after the thing with his dad anyone would be ashamed" Anko makes a move with her palms up sort of 'what can you do' pose and says goodbye, leaving her.

Sakura wipes the sweat from her brow and sits on the ground, she isn't physically tired but lately she's been missing her life. Fitting here makes her angry. How can she be happy here, when her life is somewhere else. She drops her back against the ground to feel the breeze. everything is so complicated, she can only move forward and hope. The building the scroll was under is nowhere near to be constructed.

She cries.

"Who knew you would be such a crybaby Haruno" a voice says to her left

She raises an arm to hide her face "go away Kakashi" she mutters

"I thought you were in love with me" his dry voice mocks her

She scoffs "is that like a thing now, you saying that? You know it's not true right?" she sits and wipes her face with the back of her hand

"I only say it to annoy you, and yes I know you don't love me I can see it in the way your face scrunches like you ate something bad. Apart from Gai I have to take my amusement in some way" he sits near her but far enough to keep his persona non grata attitude in check

"What do you want?" she asks softly looking at him, he sits facing the trees

"I think I'm being promoted at the end of this year" she shows no surprise, she's been hearing it from time to time when one of the teachers talk supposedly the hokage will teach Kakashi and a team per sensei´s order

"So?" she inquires after a minute of silence, Kakashi stays silent. "You are the best, you don't need me telling you that and if rumor is true is not like you are going to do bad, when our class graduates the Hokage will pick you a team for sure"

His mouth stays shut and only agrees with a nod of his head.

"Whatever, wanna fight?" when she attacks him he poofs out in a cloud of leaves

After Kakashi graduates she barely sees him, sometimes they speak (more like she speaks and he exist in her vicinity without complaint) but more often than not, she is away with her team and he with his group. Sometimes she hears Obito scream about Kakashi and she feels a pang in her heart for not doing more. It's not likely that she would change Kakashi, and she can't be around wasting time when her own team needs her.

 **I'm sorry I am a trash personnn the only excuse is that I read to much fic to write my own hahahah anyway 53 days since I last updated nicee at least it didn't take me four years. as an apology have a bonus thing. also sorry for any errors along the way.**

Bonus somewhere in the future:

"Remember when you used to joke about Sakura's crush on Kakashi? I think long before she even saw him like that he was already half in love with her" Genma laughs avoiding the sembon Anko sends his way and sips from her sake

"Yeah, I know what you mean. He was all the time finding her. Sakura told me that he liked to start conversations with 'I thought you loved me' or something like that" Anko retrieves her sake before Genma drinks it all

"Yep well we were too young to notice that. I think that Kakashi needed to grow up before really trying with her" he smiles thinking back in the old days

"I'm glad we've been only with each other!" Anko says out of the blue while she smiles searchingly at him

"Yeaaah" Genma answers quickly his voice breaks at the last syllable


	3. Chapter 3

ch3

So Hi I'm sorry for taking so long, anyways this part happens after Kakashi gets assigned to team minato, and before both Sakura and Kakashi lost touch, and then they really lose touch for good *winky face*. And forget about a linear canon timeline and a linear timeline at all.

When Sakura's father or, second father this time around. Found out that one of the Sannin was selected as her sensei he was very was strict man, always frowning and looking at her with his judging brows. his stern face softened around her mom and he never treated Sakura wrong but was so vastly different from Kizashi that t made her heart ache being at her house.

Having a great sensei was amazing, If it wasn't Orochimaru and his reputation it would be completely amazing but also she despised him with all her being so.

It came as a complete shock, for some reason, Sakura was relying on the idea that she was going to be in a team with Genma and Anko, but when the head teacher called for a group selection and Genma was selected with Hayate and Shizune her mind faltered.

In this time for some reason Shizune was not that close to Sakura but they mostly got along just fine. It makes sense that later Shizune and Genma had a complicated relationship if they were teammates. Anko was very, very mad about the ordeal and made a scene when she wasn't called, Sakura cared a bit, after all Genma was her best friend and now Like Kakashi he would be with his team and have little time to spend with her, and that was great. She needed to start focusing in herself and this life. Her knowledge of things didn't start so early, and she didn't know enough about Kakashi's life to help him, she knew that his teammates died just before the kyuubi attack but there was no way of knowing for sure when. And she couldn't just tag along to his missions.

The big surprise was when Anko, Sakura and some kid named Ren (who Sakura didn't know all that well) were put on a team with Orochimaru. The second her teacher said that name Sakura froze

 _"Sakura?" Anko elbowed her. She tried to reign in her fear, Orochimaru? That despicable snake was going to be her sensei? A chill ran down her spine. She forgot about the whispers Anko had to bear in that time, she was Orochimaru's student! How could she have forgotten that important tidbit how everyone called her a traitor sometimes behind her back and how Anko's violence retaliated._

 _"I'm fine, it just- wow a sannin huh?" she covered her fear with surprise and it worked, Anko smiled._

They waited with the rest of the groups for each sensei to pick them up. Each time the door opened Sakura had to talk herself up and breathe normally.

Then he entered, his long black hair and wicked eyes not as scary as before, he looked like a fairy tale elf a dark one. He called their names from a paper and made a face when he spotted them, turned his nose like they were garbage. Her team mates took the blow but to Sakura he was the garbage. Orochimaru's eyes squinted at her giving her another look before he smirked

"Follow me little pests, time to see what the Hokage has to offer" he turned from where he came, and they followed behind.

The clearing they met in very closely resembled her old one with team 7. So her spirits lifted when something familiar greeted her.

"I'm not here because I want to be a teacher" the snake started "I don't like any of you nor expect anything I will not bother with a second test, you all pass. So when you rats die off I will be free" he gave them all a smile and turned giving them his back "I expect to meet everyone at five to train, at least I can have some fun while I research" he went away in a cloud of grey smoke.

Anko's jaw was wide open for a second before she went off "WHAT! THAT'S IT! WE- BUT!"

Sakura inhaled, ready to calm her-

"WE PASSED THE SECRET EXAM! IN YOUR FACE" she continued making rude gestures to the sky and flipping the bird to the sun.

The sound of a palm hitting skin alerted her to her other teammate, when she turned his palm was in his face, yeah she got him. Anko was like that alright.

"Ren, so hi? Sorry but I don't remember you from the academy" she started trying to make conversation.

"Oh, yes I graduated last year… my team- they died" his face closed off "but I'm glad we were chosen together, with a Sannin as a teacher we will be protected!"

Yeah Sakura doubted that was what Orochimaru thought when he clearly stated he was waiting for their deaths.

And so it went, Orochimaru wasn't that bad in the grand scheme of things, he tossed scrolls at them, gave directions, at the end of the day recited their errors and how to compensate them.

In paper he looked like a great teacher, Like Kakashi he just was there reading (not porn) but was punctual. Anko really loved him, Ren's eyes shined and Sakura rolled her eyes so much that she suspected the little things were growing muscles. Orochimaru eyed her a bit when her knowledge went beyond expected, but thanks to her 'prodigy' title didn't call too much attention.

One day Orochimaru came and announced they were going to start missions and they did. Except the missions were nothing like what she knew, and that was the first indication of the war cooking in The Fire nation.

Many of the missions they took were hospital oriented, nothing really complicated. Carry things here or there, help at the clinic, etc. the three of them were started on several medical ninjutsu but only Sakura really took to it Orochimaru also pushed them to choose different styles. Ren was the weapon specialist with kenjutsu and a doujutsu both long range attacks, Anko was close a range fighter with tracking skill and ninjutsu and genjutsu out of the three of them Orochimaru gave her several techniques with snakes (Sakura was bit jealous but not really) and Sakura had the poison and medical knowledge accompanied by genjutsu (she had decided to hid her chakra strength, and toned down the earth ninjutsu to localized attacks to the body of an opponent with chakra manipulation, instead of Tsunatde's style) all around they were a good team.

After only a few months they were send off to the front lines when things got crazy. Sometimes Orochimaru went with his Sannin team and they supported the troops behind the battle lines.

 _When her day off came, Sakura was very glad. Orochimaru gave them a lot of orders and things to work on. He enjoyed making the suffer the physical toll on their bodies._

 _She was walking to buy thing for her mother (Sakura scoffed she wasn't a carrier!, but pocketed the money after receiving a kiss on the forehead from her mom and went to the store)_

 _Sakura was cranky, on her day off she wanted to rest not walk more. The off days gave her the chance to work on her seal. it had started to show, if you knew where to look (nobody could know that she copied the seal Tsunade had, so early in age. So she made the conscious decision on hiding it in her scalp where the hair would cover the light violet mark)_

 _Sulking she made her way while kicking pebbles of the path, and one went too far and hit someone, when she turned ready to apologice she recognized the grey mope of hair and smiled wide._

 _"Kakashi!" she ran to him and hugged him hard "Oh god it's been months since we saw each other! How are you doing?" she rambled happily_

 _"Ah, better when you release me I guess"_

 _"Great, you aren't busy right? Come with me to the store I have so much to tell you" she grabbed his hand and he stiffened "oh you are busy?"_

 _He exhaled "I uh I'm free but I was about to eat" he finally let himself be pulled_

 _"That's even better! We will eat Ichiraku's, after I buy some stuff" she firmly held his hand, a feeling of calm took over her. After months of having to endure Orochimaru's torture and the lack of social interaction (Anko didn't count) she was thirsty for some sort of connection and Kakashi was- Kakashi was, he was like a balm she needed. The link to her old life once again pulling in her mind after forgetting she had a second chance._

 _"I'm glad I found you just now Kashi" Sakura let on timidly and on her enthusiasm butchered his name, god she returned to her genin days literally and metaphorically, needing an anchor to give her strength. She frowned but decided to enjoy this day, that wasn't true. She wasn't depending on Kakashi sensei anymore, but this day right now letting go for a moment of all the things she couldn't change or control gave her a respite._

 _Behind her Kakashi's blush deepened and he scratched his neck with the hand Sakura wasn't holding._

 _Kakashi had to leave early so when they finished eating she said goodbye and went off to find Genma_

 _And boy did she found him._

 _Sakura had forgotten where exactly Genma lived so she walked and walked around the neighborhood several times scratching her head trying to place his house. The fifth time she was tackled to the dirt road, feeling Genma's chakra she rolled and laughed with him, they hugged on the dirt "jeez Shiranui since when did you become a pig?"_

 _His response was grabbing her in a weird parody of a hug while he oinked in her face and rolled with her._

 _Sakura laughed hard when he started tickling her "sto- stop you dirty cheat" half speaking and half mad cackling thorough her accusation_

 _._

 _When they finally stopped fighting in the floor he smiled and stood offering his hand._

 _"Dumbass, now I'm dirty. Thank god I decided to leave the things I bought on my way here!" she started patting the dirt off of her while he grinned._

 _"I missed your sorry face Haruno, what have you been up to?" she started patting him off too when he failed to have human decency "hands off woman!" he joked when she started smushing his face with her dirty hands, well like fifty percent her intentions where to clean him._

 _"Ugh, don't call me that, Anko is drooling over our sensei and all she says now is 'Sakura, I'm a woman, I need a man who is apt to have my babies! Hoho' while she makes a disgusting face" well she was exaggerating but Genma got the implications._

 _"Oh really?" and Sakura started her tirade about Orochimaru._

 _While they talked both walked towards the river to wash off and Genma grew serious._

 _"So I have something to say" he started unsure_

 _She frowned her eyebrows in confusion "ookay?" Sakura was lost, did she do anything lately deserving a serious conversation? not really..._

 _"I need to get this off my chest or I will regret it forever but I don't think it's serious? But at the same time I thing this is the only chance I will get" when he saw her worried face he explained "it isn't anything bad just, I-"_

 _He breathed deeply "I have a crush-" she raised her eyebrow "on you" her other eyebrow joined the first and her eyes widened_

 _"Wow, I don't know what to say- Genma" he raised his hand_

 _"No, let me finish. I know you don't feel that way towards me but I ask you for a chance"_

 _Sakura was kind of surprised by his maturity and all his joking air disappeared, he was really getting himself out there. It wasn't wise or really a good choice to give it a try. This could damage their friendship but, they were kids or at least Genma was. It felt really big for him, but in the future when they looked back at this time it would matter little this was puppy love._

 _She really thought about it and found that she didn't feel a thing for him, but would it be so bad to give him a chance? With all the missions they would probably see each other very little._

 _Also didn't Anko love Genma? There was like a rule about friends (which ok she thought it was crap but that wan't the point)_

 _And- and well he was Genma! Her friend._

 _Weirdly she wanted to say yes?_

 _So she did despite how bad the idea was_

 _"Okay, I Haruno Sakuro take this pig as a date prospect" she officially announced, he beamed "BUT nobody can know about this, not that I find you so gross with that unsanitary stick that you chew but because of Anko okay?"_

 _He looked relieved "yes, and I Shiranui Genma accept this weird head case" he dodged her fist, stepped to the side again when she advanced and then kissed her on the lips_

 _Sakura was startled but then he backed off and blushed, which huh he was kinda cute._

Bonus for waiting so much on me:

"But I will tell you a secret Midori-chan, I was your mothers first husband!" Genma announced to he little girl and found delight in her tiny gasp

"no! my daddy is the only hus- husban!" the girl stated so sure of herself.

"yup, we married a beautiful day in spring we were near the river, ah! the goo old days" he was enjoying himself far too much- then a fist collided with his head "hey! watch it Kakashi!" he muttered as he rubbed the pain away

"stop fighting you two" Kakashi laughed as Midori ran to his arms

"daad Uncle Genma said he was my mom husban first!" she explained her face all red from fighting and holding one finger indicating clearly.

"really? well we will have to ask mom that when she gets here from the hospital" he grinned when Genma gulped

"you know I think I hear Anko calling me, uh goodbye!" Shiranui ran, because well he knew Sakura.

WHAT SHE IS WITH GENMA WHAT? Who did that! Chill this is like an ant ship, almost non existent but also kinda not. This is a kakasaku fic but like Sakura is a free woman/child? Ok and she is not waiting for Kakashi, they aren't ready for each other yet, besides she still thinks of him as that last Kakashi from her first life, still thinks of him as mini Kakashi sensei even if he is not like that but I kinda want to get to the part that started all of this which is the smut part with Kakashi, Sakura and a wall at his place *wiggles eyebrows* IT WAS THE FIRST THING I WROTE but yeah I'm not sure how much is left till that part, i'm writing as the plot leads me so that's why I'm not very forthcoming with them chappies ;_; but I have the bones of the story the thing is writing it with feeling. I was stuck because I don't want a soulless kakasaku fic and didn't know how to move along to the next part. I'm sorry for any mistakes! byeee


	4. The seven swordsmen of the mist I

Sakura receives a mission to infiltrate into mist's seven swordsmen organization and she has to leave indefinitely. It gives her anxiety to think she will be taking such a mission. The Hokage assured her it would be dangerous but that her mission wasn't to really infiltrate, just to get one of the nin to sell her some information not even concerning the organization. The thing is so veiled by secrecy they don't know who the informant is and that's the risk.

Sakura gets to her apartment and sighs everything is in place and she can just fall into her couch and just sleep for eternity, not because she is tired but because she wants to just disappear

Without looking she climbs over the back of the couch jumping into it full body in the air before she registers Kakashi's surprised face

She lands on him hitting his hard sharp angles into her soft places (well the ones that aren't hard muscle) they both whine in distress

"Owww" she starts rubbing her waist as it's closer than her thigh "Kakashi" she whines extending the last syllable of his name

The dumbass laughs at her while he rubs his ribs

"Aah Didn't know you were so eager to see me" he waggles his eyebrows, his hitae-ate discarded on the coffee table. Mask intact on his face. Sakura is not proud of it but she pouts

"Dick, how come you always mess up my plans? I bet you have a radar for it" she closes her eye and with the hand she was soothing her aching muscles covers her mouth "maah Sakura-chan is hoping to do something" she imitates his droopy eyes "I must intervene!"

Kakashi smiles softly and starts tickling her without mercy "no! Kashi stop it" she laughs and something in his heart swells, he moves up a bit trapping her between the couch and himself, she looks up with those big minty eyes. He is in a precarious position about to fall off from the couch before he squishes her more against the couch, she squeals like a mouse giving him ideas. But if she was throwing herself so readily into the couch he is smart enough to let her rest.

They calm down (he knows she's letting it go but will retaliate later) Kakashi drives his focus on Sakura. She is lovely as ever. It seems so long since he looked at her. Her short hair hides the things that came to pass a few years ago, her smile just recently started to come back to that wide beautiful familiar expression. They had a few rough patches but finally came to an understanding. it 's not really easy for Shinobi to reach such place with another so quickly but somehow they pull it off

She moves and scooches into the dip of his throat stealing his warmth. her breathing slows as she falls asleep. His eyes twinkle and he brings his left leg between her thighs and tries to find a comfortable spot. his brow knits blithely, his weight over his right arm will result in plenty of pain when they wake but he ignores it letting his other arm drape over Sakura's waist. He falls asleep to the smell of her hair and the warmth

amongst their bodies forgetting to care about the impending loss of blood from his limb.

In the dream Sakura is deliciously rubbing herself on his leg slowly but surely and in response his arm grips tightly onto her and he wakes, suffering a bit disoriented from his dream before focusing his gaze into her mischievous look. When she has his undisputed attention she grabs onto him with the arm not currently imprisoned by their bodies, rubbing herself harder on his leg. He appreciates the way she is biting her lip as the blood rushes to his cock. Now that he is fully awake he feels that falling asleep on his arm wasn't the best choice but ignores that once again. The couch is warmer than ever thanks to their heated current situation.

Sakura notices Kakashi's painful expression and helps him position himself completely on the couch while she sits on his groin. Helping herself on the hard abs of her boyfriend, teasing him while ignoring his hard on. She smiles and brings herself closer so they can kiss.

Kakashi quickly rids himself of the mask and bites Sakura's lower lip before pushing in with his tongue into her waiting mouth.

Once his arm comes back to life he positions it on her behind, caressing her ass as she moves down his neck with kisses he is happy to let her continue any day but he has a hunger today that won't be easily sated. So Kakashi stops her journey and he sits positioning her over his cock and he can feel the tiny black shorts she uses are soaked, he can barely feel it but his nose can't be foiled. He rocks into her just to feel her gasp then takes the opportunity to get her out of her top. Sakura let's him take charge and smiles loftily at him, like he is the loyal subject to her great queen. No objections there.

After her bra and shirt are on the floor he starts giving his attention to her breasts, the mounds of milky flesh fit on his hands so perfectly while he tongues her left nipple biting it now and then his hand "Kashi- Kakashi" she gasps his name pushing into his mouth grabbing his hair with one hand as her right hand slowly makes her way into those damned shorts trying to find completion with her fingers. He is amused she thinks he will let her.

When his hand grabs her by the wrist she grumpily refuses to move "Let me" she says fighting him "I am this close to coming Kakashi I will murder you" her lovely eyebrows are poised in a dangerous look, he loves that. Then she harrumphs and lets him.

He smirks and licks her fingers fast (sadly he doesn't have the time for that, yet) her eyes widen and he kisses her throat as his finger softly caress her navel making her muscles clench until he gets to her core. He fingers her a bit enjoying the way her walls try to clench on his fingers "fuck- Sakura" okay he is also not far from coming he better hurry. So he uses the pad of his thumb to flicker her clit the way it gets her off faster and she goes off screaming his name.

"Yeah" he says with a stupid smile on his face

When she finally is over the high of her orgasm she retaliates

He knew she would, and he is waiting for her.

* * *

I'm sorry for taking so much tiiimmeee, the fucking chapter won't cooperate with me I also suck at writing kids and I just want to get to the part where they can do stufff shiiiittt also not one of my best chapters (not that any of them are that good but whatever) so in apologies have some future smut stuff that I love hahah also Sakura is 19 Kakashi 20 (I plan on continuing this arc whenever I feel stuck so, sorry for that as well. Listen I said there wouldn't be any linear timeline stuff) Also sorry for the lack of space between the story this shitty format editor sucks

also I kind of wrote this last minute so any errors are allowed okay? IT WAS THIS OR NOTHING SO BEAR WITH ME


	5. Chapter 4

**the good stuff starts coming or maybe the bad stuff? Maybe prepare your tissues**

 **I think there might be some confusion in regards to Kakashi's life? So it goes sort of like this in my mind, S and K start together the academy with the rest of the older kids. K becomes genin, later S and the other kids become genin and the teams are made (S doesn't graduate early bc a lot of the physical stuff she can't back up yet for chakra reasons) Then in team Orochimaru she grows a lot, still not that much chakra. Then K makes jounin, etc. Things in italics are flashbacks, while . are little time jumps**

* * *

Despite having a sensei like Orochimaru Sakura's chakra level only grows so fast for her techniques to really work and all the knowledge she has to hide hinges her plans. Not like she can do much about her situation either.

When she has the time she walks near where the building with the scroll should be built but there's nothing yet.

Their team is good overall, very well rounded and their strategies solid thanks to Orochimaru's allergy to be less than perfect. Orochimaru is very different from what she knows, he acts like he hates them which she was expecting and he likes the village really likes it for himself. So far Sakura's appointed task of following the snake around has been for nothing, thanks to her lack of chakra. she can't use her full potential and doesn't want to risk Orochimaru finding her out easily

Things with Genma are going well as far as six year olds can go in a relationship. It's fun to have a best friend/boyfriend that mostly kisses her on the cheek or on the lips when he gets cocky, Sakura never let's it go far because it's very weird and disgusting to be in a relationship with a kid when she, mentally is a teen.

The only variable that she never saw coming was Anko. Before she had someone that lend her strength when she was down but lately they been having big fights, Anko going off at her for the most mundane things.

" _You think you are so much better Sakura but guess what, knowing things doesn't get you far! So shut up and let me do things the way I want" Anko yells angrily once her patience has dried out._

 _Sakura warily avoids rebuking her. She knows Anko is at her limit but when she corrected Anko's chakra input it was because she was doing it wrong. Granted she could have said it in a less condescending manner but it just bursted out of her mouth and honestly Sakura is getting tired of coddling her so much. Anko is a good friend but you have to accommodate her constantly and is tiring that's what makes the big difference with Naruto, he was an idiot but not where it counted. Anko is a punk ass bitch (Genma's words) that likes you if you move the skies for her and once you disagree she's done._

 _Having Orochimaru at Sakura's back isn't helping either._

" _Sorry" she ends up saying and goes back to her things swearing she will stop helping her, anyways it's her mistake later on that will drive-_

" _Losing our tempers are we?" Orochimaru interrupts her internal petty dialogue "you are in fact infusing too much chakra and it will only burn your pathways quickly, sometimes less is more" then he turns to his readings again and leaves them be._

 _Anko's skin goes red as a lobster but she stays quiet and continues with less chakra input._

 _Sakura knows Anko's admiration for Orochimaru is because in spite of being the way he is the snake helps Anko and for her that's everything._

 _Ren on the other side of the clearing makes a face at them when Sakura searches his gaze in support which she responds with a shrug when he fails to validate her._

 _Fine_

 _When they take their leave Anko purposely bumps her in the shoulder._

 _Internally Sakura bristles but she moves along ignoring her teammate. She is angry at Anko for being so childish. Well Sakura is better than her and won't take the bait for the fight that Anko is looking for, Sakura is a grown up and it would be stupid to lower oneself into the level of a child, but god does she want to destroy Anko just a bit._

 _Sakura forgets she was like that once and perhaps more annoying._

Her relationship with Anko is stranded, Ren tries to be friendly and the team survives, at least for now.

.

The next time she sees Kakashi he's looking tired and annoyed standing around on the street.

"Kakashi!" she yells from a few paces, he looks up to find her and she hurries towards him. Feeling refreshed by the opportunity of talking to her once sensei.

"Sakura, it's been a while" he responds when they meet in the middle.

"Too long if you ask me! Are you busy right now I was wondering if-" she happily says before being interrupted by a green blur.

Gai starts in a hurry "Kakashi! There you are! come, we have to- oh Sakura-san I'm sorry for interrupting I was hoping Kakashi could join me in our eighty six-" then he is interrupted by a girl that grabs Kakashi by the arm, what's up with people today interrupting jeez.

"Sorry Gai! Kakashi promised me he would teach me some moves" the new arrival deadpans but Gai believes her.

Sakura remembers her, she is Kakashi's teammate Rin.

Sakura's mood drops a bit "Ah well see you later Kakashi, Gai come I dare you to eat more than me at Ichiraku's" she is sorry to hear Kakashi is busy. Then Sakura jokingly pokes Gai in the stomach "I bet you will fail"

Gai laughs "I will take you on Sakura-san and I will prevail, the will of fire is within me!" he makes a pose before running off with hurry.

"Ah I didn't mean right away!" Sakura chases slowly after Gai but he is nowhere to be seen. Sakura turns still trying to walk away but stops to bow "Sorry Kashi, have fun. if you have time later we probably will still be at Teuchi's eating ramen, I won't lose shannaro!"

.

After getting to the ramen stand Sakura locates Gai easily and they start, Sakura has training with Naruto of course she will win. But when she looks up from her bowl Gai has already seven bowls empty in front of him, the one he is currently eating is cold udon. She sighs, of course, she should have seen this coming and what a sight it is. Gai is sweaty from the ramen condensation and he is red, his chin wet with soup and well, still eating like Naruto "I concede this victory Gai, I didn't expect you to win so fast, I am impressed?" she ends dubiously, should that impress someone? It is kinda abnormal.

Gai makes unintelligible noises and swallows "but you can still catch up Sakura-san don't give up!"

She smiles "Gai my limit is six bowls in fifteen minutes, more than that and I'll explode so you already won. Now stop asking for more I don't want you to end up broke"

Gai starts to cry "I never had such a considerate rival before" he sniffs and Sakura takes pity, and grabs some paper towels and tries to clean his snot without actually touching it.

"Aah I can't wipe bodily fluids from people, it's unsanitary" adds Kakashi's voice from the entrance, he is holding the stand's white cloth flap with his elbow.

Sakura looks at the picture he makes.

Kakashi has still a long way to grow into himself, but she can see it. She somehow feels proud of him. "What a surprise, I thought you were with your teammate?" she slyly asks from her place, and feels a wet splat on her arm, she turns making a face and feeling goosebumps form on her arm. Thank to the Kami it's only a piece of noodle. Then looks at Gai and a noodle is hanging from his nostril.

"Aaand that's where my friendly help stops" she drops the paper towel. preparing to flick the piece of noodle from her arm towards Kakashi.

It occurs to her that before she wouldn't be this open with him. Taking out the part where he is her sensei is becoming too easy lately, because she hasn't seen him in so long, maybe three weeks and missing him is doing weird things to her. In addition lately Sakura has noticed that she hangs around people that make her remember her friends, being overly friendly. Until now nobody took offence. Maybe that's why she is sort of dating Genma? He kinda acts like Shikamaru and Kiba had a lovechild and he was the result.

He eyes her movement and his eyes narrow "I didn't actually promise anything to Rin so I came here" then moves out of the way when Sakura flicks the noodle towards his mask, and it flies just as another person comes in. The scene forms in her brain in slow motion to Sakura, Rin opens her mouth to apologize for the interruption and the noodle's trajectory is already set, flying…

flying to. Her. mouth.

Oh no, Sakura thinks and recoils preemptively feeling the ghost of a noodle landing in _her_ mouth yuuuck. "Rin look-"

"I'm sorry to interrupt-" the girl says and she coughs as the unidentified (for her) flying object lodges into her throat making her choke, yikes that udon noodle sure is thick.

Sakura internally scream-wails the word 'no' in the real world she cringes and stands to help the other girl. "Oh I'm so sorry Rin I was hoping to catch Kakashi in the face with the noodle, here spit it" she offers a paper towel.

The other girl is red in the face and a lone tear from struggling with the thing in her throat, makes a home in the corner of her eyelid making Sakura feel very bad

"Don't worry I think I swallowed already but thanks" Rin says dryly, her fist closing tightly. yup she is pissed. Sakura blinks. She will never mention that, _that_ particular noodle was up Gai's nostril.

Kakashi holds his stomach laughing silently facing the corner but Sakura ignores him and the need to laugh herself.

"The ramen is on me, again sorry" she apologises.

Then they eat together and Sakura stops Gai from eating another bowl, yeah lesson learned.

.

.

In the few months that follow she keeps making strong bonds with the now young teachers while Anko's friendship deteriorates, Ren isn't taking sides which is good for him. Even if Anko is the one in the wrong.

Missions get harder sometimes, but nothing out of the norm.

One day Genma announces he fell in love with Shizune and they call it quits. It amuses Sakura plenty. But she thanks him for breaking up with her first instead of cheating and puts the fear of her wrath in him if he tries to cheat on anyone.

All in all life is good for two years.

The rift between Anko and Sakura grows deeper.

Genma once asks for her to be with him, then again breaks it off.

Kakashi acts weird sometimes but they get on really well. He says because they are the same age while everyone else is older than them, but Sakura thinks is bullshit.

.

And then Kakashi comes back with a Sharingan.

Saying he comes back is the wrong thing. Team Orochimaru has been away for a month putting up traps on the borders since the war is growing strong. When they return and the whispers get to her ears before she sees Kakashi is when she finds out.

" _Ah Sakumo's son?" A voice inquires calling up Sakura's attention for the likeness of the name with hers._

" _Yes that's right Mari-san he came back and his teammate died, I heard he had a talk with the elders because the kekkei genkai was in his possession. They wanted to get it out of his head-"_

" _No!"_

" _Yes, but the Hokage forbade it after the other teammate admitted it was the dead kid's wish-"_

" _Still why would she just take his eye and put the dead teammate's there?"_

" _Oh no, he also lost his eye so the space was on vacancy"_

 _The old shinobi ladies laughed_

" _The Hatake's sure are weird huh Miki?_

 _Sakura's blood chilled, she was too late. Kakashi already lost Obito_

She goes around the village looking for him. Dirt crunching under her blue sandals as she uses chakra to make things faster. After all her training her chakra started building and she can use it normally again. Finally in a few months she will be able to start her seal.

She looks desperately everywhere. it's so unfair Kakashi Is barely nine, and he already lost his family and now part of his team.

When they- or when she was older (could it be that they wonder where she disappeared to? That she is missing?) she tries to focus on one thing at a time. Kakashi never talked much about his life besides that one time. All of the things she knows about him are from Tsunade or his medical history but from what he told them this is the pivotal point in his life. He will suffer so much because of his mistakes.

Sakura can't find him, sweat is gathering in the back of her shirt overheating her and in all her desperation she forgets where Kakashi goes to feel the weight of his guilt, afflicted she curses.

When she gets there, and finally takes in the sight of his slouched posture in front of the memorial stone something inside her breaks and her heart pounds faster than from all the running she did around the village, her breath is fast and her muscles ache for stopping so suddenly. Little by little as she stays motionless she begins to cool off. Now the wrongness of this situation starts to settle.

Her mouth turns down and she feels so bad, can't decide what to do to comfort him. Her eyes tear up. And she can't do what's right something inside her coils ready to burst.

It's too late to do something. She can't move her arms or speak. If only she could have helped him. If only she had saved Obito.

She knew it was going to happen and she did nothing.

"Kakashi" she whispers when she feels her throat won't settle itself more than what it already has. Her voice is broken and it hurts to say his name.

What right does she have?

He tenses and doesn't turn to face her. It hurts.

If she could have stopped it, if she could just go back in time again. Her mind would do anything to leech herself to him and stop everything bad from happening, maybe she should have told someone that she isn't from this time. If she could just. But she also fears for herself. A shinobi village won't just implicitly accept her words. What would happen to her?

'Save him' a voice barely echoes inside herself.

But it's impossible right? Maybe when the scroll- when she finds the scroll again then-

Kakashi brokenly says "I don't want to see anyone" interrupting her stupid ideas.

Her tears fall as she walks, the sound of the grass as she drags her feet loud in the space between them. "You don't have to see me" she pleads reaching out to him.

He stays unresponsive until her hand grabs onto the blue shirt he wears "Kakashi" she whispers and waits then slowly as if taming a vengeful wolf. She hugs him from behind, her face is warm from the run and the tears fall colder making her cheeks ich which she ignores in favor to bury her face on his back.

When did Kakashi grew so much she wonders. When her skin makes contact with his back, she finds his clothes sharply cold.

And she holds him repeating his name over and over and ugly crying all over him she tightly closes her eyes and let's go of everything she's holding back, the coil inside her breaks.

While making a mess of his shirt with her tears and snot she wounds her arms tight around him, afraid of letting go.  
She isn't a pretty crier but she gladly will share her warmth with him if she could just make everything ok like that (later she will worry about the mess she made and probably cringe imagining Kakashi deciding if he should wash or give up and throw the shirt out)

After a while he shakes and comes undone "Sakura" Kakashi hopelessly sniffs. Bringing a fresh batch of tears to her eyes.

Then he turns and grasps her in a tight hug "I'm sorry" he adds through his mask when she's about to rise her head he quickly utters "don't look at me" ashamed.

Her heart hurts and she doesn't know what to do, but speaks without thinking "if you can't stand me looking at you close your eyes" like she some kind of low grade poet.

She lets go of him and he tightens his arms around her fleetingly before going limp. She frees her arms and grabs his face placing him as if he's looking down at her but his eye doesn't open "But I know it's not your fault, I know you- I'm sure you did whatever you could for him I know it" she valiantly swears as she paws at his face and ignores his tears and the bandaged eye, then her hand rests over his good eye cleaning the tears away and she looks at him some more. Locking this memory into her soul.

What a weird scene they must make, two children ugly crying holding each other in front of a rock (granted many shinobi come to cry at the stone, so maybe it's normal)

"I promise I will be here. I will never go away without you" Sakura suddenly promises and she means it, fuck coming back fuck everything. It wasn't even that good. But a part of her still can't let go of the hope of returning to _her life._

Kakashi softly laughs pained "you can't promise that" then sadder "no one can promise that" he grabs her hand from his face and looks at her head on. His wet eye glimmered and seems surprised by what he finds in her expression, but in a good way.

Then he buries his face in the curve of her neck. And they stay like that.

.

After Obito's death Kakashi changes, a part of the mechanism that is the copy nin falling into place. It's clear that Rin loves him which makes Sakura happy. Now someone can be taking care of him when she's away.

In a bout of inspiration it occurs to her that she now could potentially change teams.

" _Sakura" the Hokage sighed massaging his forehead "I already told you that your team can't be changed-" he raised his head when he heard Sakura take a breath to argue "it's not the same as Ren, your team is alive. I understand that you care for Kakashi, but you are a shinobi of Konoha and you can't change teams for a crush" again she reddened but didn't let him continue._

" _With all due respect Hokage-sama I don't see Kakashi that way, I worry for him. And you won't listen about Orochimaru" she firmly states_

" _Sakura I told you that being suspicious without proof helps no one, your fight with Anko doesn't make you unfit for the team. Many people hate each other but work either way in the same team"_

" _You don't get it, Orochimaru will do something and KAKASHI WILL SUFFER" she starts screaming but deeply breathes and lowers her tone "you can't say no, just let me and I won't bother you again"_

" _I'm leader of this village not only I say no today. I won't change my decision if you can't follow my rules the village's gate is there" he pointed with his finger at the window where the gates were openly visible._

 _His words struck her. She knew she was being unprofessional and maybe a bit insolent, thanks to being so close to the last Hokage, or well the next after the third takes over again(? And it wasn't the second or third time coming to his office to discuss this._

 _She swallows her argument and leaves after bowing to the Hokage, her tears fall once she closes the door quietly and quickly dries them with her sleeve._

 _Grimly she felt more tears fall over her cheeks as she leaves the place. I don't want to let him suffer if I could just stop it she thinks._

 _The second time she tried to make the change of team she had tried to tell Minato why she wanted to do the change. But when she opened her mouth nothing came out, it felt like something was choking her and a sick feeling in her head prickly attacked but stopped when she excused herself and left. She noticed then that some of her memories started to disappear she didn't know how she knew it but the cold sweat and the headache clued her in. A cluster of her memories from childhood disappeared and she feared losing them all._

 _A cold set in her when she thought of the possibility of forgetting this wasn't her time._

 _She didn't know which memories she lost and that was more daunting than the feeling of desolation that blossomed from inside._

In the end Kakashi went back into the field with Rin.

And as Sakura suspected Orochimaru didn't stay docile for long.

* * *

Aaah thanks for waiting patiently and sorry. But I like this chapter a lot more now that I had the time to fix it and add stuff here and there. You guys also can comment it's free *eyes the silent crowd in the back*


	6. Chapter 5

(to refresh since I've been MIA Kakashi suffers after losing Obito. Sakura comforts him but she can't change much, Kakashi's fate moves along.) so sorry for the long wait I read a fic so good but the author ducked me by not updating since 2014 so I felt guilty haha *cries* I'm not saying this is as good as that but you know *shrug* anyway sorry, next chapter is coming sooner than you guys think. also I have another KS fic coming so that's why I just got to this now. XIXIXI time shifts. flashbacks in italic.

* * *

The tension with the rest of the villages went up to such a degree that the shinobi of the leaf found themselves stretched thin, hardened faces everywhere, grim eyes and stern façades. constant fighting on the borders and death all around had taken a toll on everybody's minds- civilians included.

A lot of people, important people will _die_ or is already dead.

Despite the knowledge of the things that are coming, Sakura finds relief -if it can be called that- in knowing that many of the people she knows will be safe. In her stay she has met a lot of people _good_ people and in the last few days she's been asking herself if she can just go on when some of the people she knows. Like Kaname from the hospital or Reiko from the weapon store will not be there.

Knowing things is not a blessing when things can't change, knowing only makes it harder. She isn't oblivious to the consequences of war, she's a shinobi but the chain of events that ends in the Kyuubi attack is closer than ever. Sakura wants to help Naruto in any way she can. After keeping her distance from the Hokage and the fiery woman he loves. She feels like something will finally go her way.

She didn't help Kakashi because when he imparted the little bit of knowledge about his past he never actually mentioned dates or anything of help. But she studied the village history, Sakura knows when and where she has to be now.

IXIXIXIXIX

Since Sakura is part of a team she has to take part on missions like everyone else, and it means having fewer and fewer resting days. It's war, nobody get's enough time off now. So it's been very difficult to keep tabs on Kakashi, Sakura knows that death is around the corner for his remaining teammate, the thing is being certain about it is like a prolonged funeral. She wants to help of course, she doesn't know when is going to be, if she can help. The Hokage refuses to give her the place in Kakashi's team. He thinks he's giving her an important lesson in life. Like young people need to learn their places quickly because the Hokage rules their life. Or patience is a virtue. Which ok, it is but also Rin shouldn't have to die. They have been going through this fight for years, it feels like at least.

Since last time, she hasn't tried to talk with the Hokage about Orochimaru. Her Sensei is disappearing more and more, she can't draw the attention to herself. As much as she would love, he already suspects her. There's no way a kid like her can just point and get rid of the Sannin, no evidence no nothing.

Things with Genma are okay they are still friends, After deciding that having the weird more-but-not-that-much relationship with him only complicated her life, she's young but Genma is just so immature in a way that can't be reprimanded since he is just a soldier child, knows how to kill but feelings are not completely developed. She loves Genma in a way she never imagined, like how she loves Naruto but better, without misunderstandings from either side. They are over as more than friends but he still has her back.

Kakashi's personality is slowly closing off. Slowly getting that cold look in his gaze. She fears that she won't be of help. Like always running up with all her strength to fall short, too late to stop the pain the village and Kakashi shouldn't feel. At the back of her mind the Uchiha massacre weighs heavily. Too many things to stop too little help she can give. She doesn't even have freedom to move or spy. To fix.

The chance of her life of anyone- really who knew, going back in time to stop it. But it only makes her cry at night that she has this opportunity and the only thing she has done is watch things fall into place. A bloody puzzle coming to completion with her hands tied. The stoic Kakashi that gives a cold feeling masking it off with a lazy smile. That's the adult he will be, but she assures herself -or tries to- not on my watch.

If there's anything she can do is be besides her future Sensei, take a bit of that weight he carries.

XIIXIXIXIX

"You should stop talking like that" Kakashi warned in the middle of their conversation. They are sitting in the training ground eating. His tone makes her stammer surprised, she pauses in her tirade.

Since Obito's death Kakashi changed, she completely understands having your teammate die like that and having a part of him irrevocably change, thinking that because of him his friend died. it's just psychological damage piling on. When he recoils from human contact she gives him space and silently supports him but Sakura thinks she should do more, push into his space, help him. Afraid Kakashi will ignore her and retreat she stays silent.

She's been trash talking Anko, petty- she knows but lately the only thing they do is fight and when Ren backs her up Anko starts to boil. So the only one she thinks will care less if she calls Anko a stupid good for nothing is Kakashi. It's not serious either. what she expects is validation like 'why yes Sakura you have a hard life' and queue a pat to the shoulder. She actually knows Anko is a great ninja.

"Wow sorry I didn't know you felt so strongly about someone you barely meet on a regular basis" sarcastically she taunts after feeling a bit stung by his response. Maybe Kakashi is right that she's been overreacting but it stings when he doesn't agree. She breathes trying to calm herself and gives him a once over. Kakashi is right she's been a little baby about it. He gives off waves of anger in his sitting position, avoiding her eyes. Just as she's about to apologise Kakashi's features harden and he stands from the place beside her.

They've been having their bentos at the training area after practicing a bit of genjutsu and he slightly kicks his with the sudden movement startling her. The chopsticks clatter to the dirt.

"At least you should be a better Shinobi" he declares "if you let feelings like that grow, you will falter and then-" Kakashi stops himself shaking his head, as if giving up on his point. He turns away from her- "I thought you got it, a few weeks ago I thought you knew what it feels like, but you don't" he concludes.

She recoils, for a second she doesn't understand and then it dawns on her. it's hard to forget what happened to Obito and it will never be okay. She feels anger all of a sudden. Just because Kakashi finds her situation similar. That he feels unjustified guilt over something he had no control over.

"This is not the same as that! Obito-" she argues. Kakashi's back straightens and he interrupts her "don't say his name so carelessly, why don't you look at yourself Sakura and stop finding flaws in others?" his chiding voice cuts her.

A cold anger sweeps over her. If she stays here she will say something she will regret later. She feels stupid and the prickly tight feeling grows in her nose. Tears form in her eyes.

When will be the day she stops crying god, it's so frustrating. Her throat gets stuffy and her eyes fill with tears. Before the tears fall she has to go.

He abruptly turns still bristling, his fight mode on. But when he sees her Kakashi's shoulders drop she doesn't stay to hear more. She's three steps away when her vision gets blurry and her tears fall.

XIXIIXIXIX

It actually is in the middle of a mission when everything goes to shit, not as Kakashi imagined but close and at the same time so far far away from what he thought.

After succeeding in disposing of an undercover spy dealing arms for Iwa, team Orochimaru is coming back to Konoha. Since Sakura and Ren get along better (i.e banding against their teacher and Anko) they are bringing up the rear. Her head tilts in his direction secretly looking him up, she's been feeling Ren's unease since yesterday night when he came back from his break. They had some time alone to walk freely around the town after ending the mission and she stayed inside while everyone left.

"Hey Ren is there something bothering you?" Sakura asks fixing a concerned look at him taking the advantage of their solitude from their team.

Ren doubts for a minute side eyeing her, he looks ahead deciding and finally responds in a low tone "Orochimaru is a spy Sakura. I don't know if I should trust you but I know you don't like anything about him. I was waiting for us to get into the village but I think" he whispers, "I don't think we will make it-" a chill runs down her spine suddenly all she can do is focus in Ren's sudden scared eyes- "Orochimaru met with a missing nin last night and he said he had some plans coming up, that it was time for him to leave-" the air shifts and a heavy wave of murdering intent envelops them. Her speed not up to par with her last self yet makes her lag, but she avoids the snake and three kunai with one of her own and lands on one knee- "Sa- Sakura" Ren's raspy voice calls.

Her heart stops when she turns slightly to look back at him.

Ren is half crouching, his terrified eyes brimming with tears, he managed to move from his place and extract a kunai to defend himself but, she trembles.

Ren's torso is enveloped in the mouth of Orochimaru's snake summon both fangs digging maliciously into him. The kunai he managed to bring is uselessly impaled into the snake's eye.

"Well you didn't matter much little rat, but a meal for my snake will do" the snake himself jokes in a bored tone.

Ren's grasping breathe is loud in the morning cold air. His pleading eyes filled with glassy tears look at her and he sort of faints. The snake's poison paralyzing him at once. Then the snake swallows Sakura's teammate whole. A wretched scream claws it's way out of her "Ren!" her voice wavers "Ren" she pleads.

Her body is frozen, face pale. Going against Orochimaru is suicide but even if she wanted to move her body can't respond. Throwing herself at the snake that just swallowed her friend will do no good. She is so scared that even if she could get his body back she knows her body will be nothing but fodder for the Sannin. She can't move so there's no point in wasting time in that. But Ren her friend is dead and she's just standing, useless. Again.

Then as if their teammate hadn't been killed Anko walks meekly to stand next to Orochimaru, she's holding her neck but her body doesn't show a single hint of being happy to be in this situation the proud stance that Sakura was expecting is non existent. She had some suspicions that her friend was involved with the snake. In the future she heard some rumors but knowing those were just that, gives her some resemblance of courage. Her friend was just swept into this. They can make something of it. It doesn't look like it but Anko's level is high, that's the reason Orochimaru gave their team a chance. Anko has a lot of potential and besides the dumb fights they have Sakura knows she is so smart. They can save each other, besides Anko survived the cursed seal and that is half the battle right there. It calms Sakura, she still has Anko.

Anko's gaze is lowered. Sakura feels like snarling anyway Anko doesn't have the bloodthirsty streak yet. Sakura sighs, what kind of choice does she have? but the snake lolls his face before she can ruminate more "Sakura, we are leaving carry Anko when she passes out… if you don't want to die right now"he dictates as his tongue burrows out of his mouth trying to reach her. Her feet finally carry her away from him. Disgust filling her.

XIIXIXIXI

Anko passes out half an hour later and Sakura carries her. She's following Orochimaru on the foliage jumping branches without much attention. Anko's body is burning up.

Sakura's seal isn't ready yet -she panics- how can she get Anko away from him and escape unscathed? It seems impossible. What would Tsunade do in her position? And Ren, she remembers and her eyes fill with tears. Why is she so helpless?, even with all the advantages she has, so far she couldn't help anyone and her knowledge in seals is mediocre. At best she can help Anko with healing her system.

Sakura never asked for this. More than anything she wishes she were back to her life. She was strong then. She wasn't responsible of so much death there, well unwarranted death.

She must be able to do something for herself. Sakura tries to compose herself if Orochimaru plans to make her a lab project it won't be easy to escape. One of the first things they teach you is don't get captured and if you do as long as you escape before they take you to their lair you still have a chance.

Sakura doesn't think they'll escape.

XIXIIXIX

When they get close to a inhabited place Orochimaru appears behind her "that's all" his voice cut her thoughts and she knew no more.

XIXIXIIXIX

When Sakura wakes up she's in a room in an unfamiliar place, then her memories come back and she sobs. "I'm sorry" Anko's voice sound from her left startling her.

Sakura's fury rages inside her she wants to yell and maim Anko, she can't think beyond Ren's hopeless eyes and how he sounded calling her name "You killed him he was-" her voice breaks, their friend.

"What else could I have done! I am powerless and I trusted my teacher ok!? I'm sorry I'm not the perfect Kunoichi"

Sakura gets up there's no point in fighting Anko they have to work together, they need each other. Sakura dries her tears pointlessly and hugs Anko as they sob. She hates her but she understands why her teammate did what she did. Anko hugs her back weakly the faint hitch in her voice when she said "we will make it Sakura"

It gave her the comfort she needed

IXIXIXIXIXIX

Kakashi ignores Sakura for a few days or, _well_ he tries but she is on a mission and the more he thinks about their fight even if it makes his anger rekindle Kakashi regrets saying some of the things he said and so he waits, waits for Sakura and tries to avoid Minato. he can't find it in himself to spend time with anyone after exploding at Minato too.

A few days pass and Minato calls him in to track Orochimaru. Kakashi's breath gets caught in his throat. It feels like he stopped breathing. Minato tells him that Orochimaru defected and that his students are gone.

 _XIXIXIIXIXI_

 _Kakashi silently enters his Sensei's office through the window. Minato is frowning harder than normal and it makes something go quiet inside him._

 _When Minato raises his head from his papers, jaw clenched face somber. He knows something's wrong._

" _Orochimaru's team is missing" the Hokage says. Kakashi feels his blood turn cold "they were supposed to-" the Hokage continues buck all he can hear is a low ringing in his ears_

 _It seems like the world stops turning for him his brain catches what the Hokage tells him and even if it feels like all the air in the world left he is still breathing._

 _So much for not letting him go. Eh Sakura?_

IXIXIXIXIXI

The first thing Kakashi does is rage, rage against the silence and the cold Konoha air. pure unadulterated and white hot rage burns through him. Sakura knew something was odd with her Sensei but nothing was done, she used to go quiet and say to him " _don't trust him Kakashi"_ her voice hard but every time he asked, why? She gave nothing up. The times she left quietly from the Hokage's office fists clenched make sense now. When she looked sad and said to him " _be careful Kakashi"_

Minato makes some noise, two teams go to investigate. Nothing is found but signs of struggle. Nothing very violent but against a Sannin what can a team of barely leaving Genin category kids can do? Their own Sensei against three Genin. No bodies were found but a bit of blood, that assures no one.

XIXIXIIXIX

Days pass and then Kakashi has to go on a mission with Rin. nothing is going right.

His words to Sakura echo in his head.

" _At least you should be a better Shinobi"_ and the look in her face. She left crying. That's the last thing he has of her, making her cry.

She was good, she was certainly going to pass her exam. She was going to be Jounin he knows that. She was going to be so much and yet.

He remembers though, this is a Shinobi village.

 __XIXIIXIXIX __

 _At least you should be a better Shinobi_

He says to himself when he comes back alive and his teammate doesn't.

XIXIXIIXIX

Sakura gets little time to form any kind of plan with Anko. What the girl buys is time, some days and it helps. Sakura makes her really sick but nothing really big just fever and mild stuff that takes nothing to maintain. At the same time she tries to conserve some chakra she stores in her hidden seal. it's tiny but it's something. Anko saw it, it's there and it makes her feel a sort of calm that only fools can feel. They have something.

Her time runs up. Orochimaru cares nothing for Anko's well being and since she's not in death's door Sakura is expendable once more.

XIXIXIXI

Since the snake kidnapped them the better part of a month passed. There's nothing to do now. But try to keep on going until a Konoha team finds them. Which seems more unlikely by now but hope is the last thing you let go of.

XIXIXIIXIXI

One day Orochimaru appears

"Ah my plans are going smoothly I suppose thanks are in order girls" the snake interrupts. Since Anko's sickness has plateaued the little infirmary where they are held will be changed for another place. After several escapes attempts they are watched closely by Orochimaru's goons. Sakura thinks she would have escaped by herself but leaving her teammate is out of the question. Kakashi would fry her and her own conscience would kill her.

Orochimaru advances like a flash. She avoids his attack but another lightning fast strike gets her. She spits blood as Anko cries. They talked about it and now that Anko has calmed since their stupid fights she knows not to call attention to herself. Anko has to make it too.

The pain smarts in her very soul. The punch to her belly will incapacitate anyone but not her, she fakes fainting. Her body slows and Orochimaru picks her up. "Until another time Anko" threatens the vile bastard while he laughs.

Sakura maps the base. The careless hold she's in provides her with the opportunity to see a lot and then she's thrown into the floor of a lab, if it can be called that, a butcher's scientific place clean but horrible, a nightmare. The sadist has a plan for her too.

He smirks "No need to play dead" he quirks his head to the side and obliged she looks back, his wicked smile is a sharp line that cuts his face contrasting with his pale skin. "After giving it some thought I think watching you grow is very much against my inquisitive nature so I will provide some help Sakura dear" since she can barely stand he grabs her by the arms and is thrown onto a cold table. she fights, his hands have her under control. She realizes his intent immediately, her face contorts in fright. delighted he opens his mouth fangs out and gleaming. All the strength she hid goes into buckling him off. Her head moves trying to hit his stupid nose and he just bites into her. A stabbing sensation hits her then _pain_ hellish pain, venomous and her seal reacts activating trying to quarantine the bite. Her body fights and Orochimaru hums interested but ultimately leaves her to her pain.

Sakura's seal changes she can feel it. Trying to hold off the seal from Orochimaru she throws anything she can think into her own seal. No hand signs just will and all the chakra she has amassed. _Hold-seal-fight_ she thinks _barrier._ Pure pain breaches her thoughts but she stays awake as long as she can.

Before passing out her brain continues on instinct it's hard to focus. But she feels Orochimaru's seal burning the border of her seal.

Sakura screams

What nobody sees is her seal activating. Black lines run through her body like vipers holding her extremities. Since her seal was hidden by her hair the black lines descend like rivers down her eyes crossing over her neck. She seizes her body fighting the lines. When her hair starts turning black from the roots her body calms. Only the tips of her pink hair stay the same until all the black recedes as if nothing happened.

Since her seal storages chakra it mutates to do exactly that. And starts draining his chakra inside. First it's a struggle but the evil dark chakra as it enters her seal is purified. More and more chakra starts to fill in.

To be continued

* * *

bonus:

She's washing the dishes when her daughter speaks

"Mom my art teacher says white is not a color! But my favorite color is white!" Midori's classes, which she insisted in taking are going fine, but lately her daughter finds an excuse to talk about her 'art teacher' he predominantly plays the villain, innocuous things that Midori finds are personal attacks in her direction. Kakashi grunts every time the art teacher is mentioned.

Their kid's crush is so transparent it gives her second hand embarrassment. Ah to be so young.

While Midori rants off about the color white a memory awakens from her brain. Something so long ago forgotten that it's hard to fully remember it

" _I like the clouds, you know? It's not because they look fluffy. I love the white color it looks so stark against the sky when it's about to rain and if you focus really hard you can see the shadows when the sun is high up there" Ren smiles when Sakura looks at him like he's weird. She looks up at the clouds, they look normal to her until she sees that indeed the clouds have shadows "what I also like is the light that manages to pass through them sometimes, those rays seem bigger when they fight against all the grey. Like a human they have good things and bad things-" he adjusts his weapon pouch- "you only have to try hard to let the light pass" he ends with. Until something far ahead calls for his attention._

 _It's not like Sakura didn't know clouds before, she saw them all the time, is like when you know something but never stop to really look at it "dumbass" she whispers._

Sakura returns to her daughter still in her speech "maybe you should still use white baby, white makes contrast when you use it with other colors-"

Midori gasps and rises from the table "you are right mom! Thanks!" before Sakura can even mention the clouds. she runs barely avoiding Kakashi on his way from cleaning the floors holding a dirty rag. "Move dad I'm busy!"

Kakashi holds his hands up moving out of the way looking back at Sakura, moving his eyebrows as if asking 'what was that?'

She smiles "a tiny human… with a crush" Kakashi groans in response. She goes back to her dishes giggling while her husband goes in search for more cleaning products.


End file.
